Dialysis

Now where were we?

I’ve been struggling to write about dialysis, and wasn’t really sure how to start. So I guess lets start with what dialysis does. Dialysis filters all the toxins out of your blood when your kidneys can’t. Any fluid you consume while you’re not on dialysis weighs you down. Your body swells and you become lethargic. It wouldn’t be uncommon to feel nauseated leading up to your next run.

I had 2 tubes coming out of the right side of my chest. One for for dirty blood out, and one for clean blood in. I called them my cords. Dialysis runs were done 3 times a week for 4 hours. They made me feel nauseated and weak. They would pull up to 4kg (almost 9 lbs) of fluid off in one run (great weight loss plan, right??). The more liquid you consumed before a run, the more you would have to pull off. One of the hardest parts was limiting my fluid intake to 1L a day. So.. cereal or coffee today? Coffee.

Lets run through a typical dialysis day. I would arrive 15 – 20 minutes before a run. I’d sit with the others in the waiting room and wait to be called. We all kind of became friends over shared stories of struggle and triumph. We talk about how we got here, and where we were on our path to transplant. Many had been waiting for years, and that scared me. I wasn’t even on the list yet. I also felt saddened, knowing that some may not ever get their second chance, due to age, or illness. I was the newbie, and one of the youngest patients.

One by one we would be called up to the scale. Weigh in. Subtract the weight of shoes and air boots. The nurse would take me to my station; I’d sit in my chair and dig out my cords. The nurse would first sterilize them before connecting them to the dialysis machine. I was always fascinated when watching my blood start to mix with the saline solution in the tube. More often than not, I would start to feel nauseated so I would recline my chair and close my eyes. My hope was to fall asleep long enough for my stomach to stop turning, and my head to stop pounding.

Most of the time my run would go smoothly. If we try to pull too much fluid off, my legs would cramp and my blood pressure would drop and we’d have to slow the machine. The worst time was when I had to be disconnected to use the rest room. I hurried back so I wouldn’t lose too much time in my run. My nurse hooked me back up to the machine while I got settled back in my chair. Within seconds I felt light headed and nauseated. I had just enough left in me to grab her arm. She saw my face and before I knew it there were 6 nurses surrounding my chair. The machine had clotted. Blood pressure cuff back on, chair fully reclined, cold cloth on my head. We caught it in time, and I was back to myself in no time, but man did that scare me.

Other than that, it was pretty uneventful. I sometimes had visitors, which was always nice. My dad and I played crib. My aunt and I played board games. I had a small carry on size suitcase full of books, colouring books, cards, cross stitching and a cozy home blanket my grandma made for me. Sometimes I would nap, other times I would watch TV. We don’t have cable so it was nice to watch some day time TV.

Towards the end of the run I was always anxious to leave. I was hungry and wanted to get home to my family. At the end of the run they would clip off my cords and sterilize before unhooking me. I would gather my belongings and head off to be weighed again. I was starving and always had to bring a snack to hold me over until I got home.

I would feel the effects of dialysis for hours after I left. If we had taken too much off then my blood pressure would be low and I’d have to consume something salty, or drink more fluids to try and bring it back up. It was a very fine science to getting it exactly right. I was thankful that such a process existed to keep me alive and feeling somewhat normal. It was time consuming, and you couldn’t miss any runs. If I was having a particularly rough week, I would sometimes have to come in for an extra run. I’ll speak more of where I was in the transplant process in my next post, but the week before I decided I wanted to do a different kind of dialysis that I could do from home, I had to come in for 5 runs in one week. We were having trouble getting all the fluid off and it was filling up the space around my heart and in my lungs. More on that extra procedure to come!

Being sick can be a full time job, and it was sometimes hard to stay in a positive head space when time keeps flying by while you’re stuck in a dialysis clinic. It’s what you have to do to stay alive, and keep on fighting. So that’s what I did. I was so ready to get on that list and get a second chance. It was coming sooner than I had imagined…